Letter to the Editor of Punch, 11th September, 1996.

In view of the confusion that sometimes arises over the periods of English architecture, I thought you might like to publish the following explanation:-

A History of English Architecture

English architecture may be divided into Roman, Saxon, Norman, Early English, Decorated, Perpendicular, Tudor, Georgian and Victorian. Roman architecture is that of Rome, which is in Italy, and therefore not found in England. Saxon architecture is that of Saxony, which is in Germany, and therefore not found in England  Norman architecture is that of Normandy, which is in France, and therefore not found in England. Early English architecture is everything that was built in England before 8.0 in the morning. Decorated is self-explanatory and refers to everything built in England except for twentieth-century council houses, which are undecorated. Perpendicular is likewise self-explanatory and refers to everything built in England, the one building that is not perpendicular being the Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is in Italy. Tudor architecture is that built by Henry VII, Henry VIII and Elizabeth I, but as none of these was a builder, it is not found in England. Georgian and Victorian architecture are not found in England for the same reason.

I hope that this clears everything up.

[Note:  This is the version that was submitted;  the published version was slightly different and, in my opinion, less effective.]